I'm not giving back the jeans, so screw you karma

Behold, my ugliest pair of shoes:

For the contest over at Barking Mad

And technically, these aren't even MY shoes!

My best friend and I have a very strange relationship when it comes to sharing clothing and shoes. We are lucky enough to wear mostly the same size (she has a little more "junk in the trunk" and I have...umm....I have "brighter headlights" I guess? Why are there no car analogies for bodacious tatas?) in said items, and when we lived closer together, our closets were practically interchangeable. The only problem with this situation: the borrowee hijacks the borrowed item and claims it as her own. My bff will go on and on and indignantly claim that she does not do this, but I accompanied her to class a few weeks back and what did I see on her feet? My white flip flops I thought went missing about 6 months ago. Huh! Imagine that.

However, this is not the case with these shoes. About 3 years ago, we were shopping together at Khols and she showed me the above pair of shoes that she "really loved". I thought she was insane and told her they were hideous, but she ignored my disgust and lamented that she did not have the money. It being very close to her birthday, I had the brilliant idea to come back and get these shoes for her at a later date. You might argue that a good friend would never let their good friend commit a fashion crime, but if I had that mindset, I would have donated more than half of her clothes to Goodwill a long time ago.

(KIDDING...just seeing if you're paying attention, lala)

Of course when I went back to purchase the ugly beasts, they were sold out. So after searching all over the city for these shoes, I proudly presented them to her on her birthday. She seemed happy at the time, but a few months later when I needed to quickly borrow some black boots for something or other, she thrust these at me and never looked back. Since I hate them, I've tried to return them to her a few times, but she's not having it, and further inquiry has provided me with the opinion I knew she had all along: she doesn't like them any more. So I ended up buying myself a pair of ugly shoes in the end of it all, really. Maybe this is karma's way of telling me to give her back her jeans she doesn't know I've had for 2 years?

What are friends for?

So, my best friend called me yesterday and says, "Hey, do you think you can vote for me this year?"
Being an immigrant from England, she is unable to take place in an election, which is like the perfect exemption if you ask me. Exotic and insouciant. I know that once you move to a different country, you are supposed to be interested in the new and different things it has to offer and be adaptable and all that, but I don't think I'd want to be involved in American politics if I wasn't from this country. Much like heroin, it makes you feel dirty and wrong, but I suppose it can be quite addicting.

"Okaaay," I replied warily, "Who do you want me to vote for?" There was a pause, and then she chirped, "John McCain!" Except I heard this in a loud, cavernous echo: THE DEVIL HIMSELF.
(Oh hi there, did I just alienate some readers?)

I was speechless. "John "Waterboarding" McCain?!" I asked incredulously. There was a tense pause on the other side of the phone, and then I received an icy reply, "You're not seriously gonna vote for Obama, are you?"

Oh dear. I had no idea my best friend of 13 YEARS was a crazy right wing republican. How did I not catch on to this? How could I have been so blind? Honestly, I'm exaggerating a little, cause I'm really not that into politics. I am whats known as an "Optimist", a rapidly decreasing breed of people, and in order to stay that way I prefer to remain as minimally educated as necessary about politics. I have my morals and beliefs and hold them to a very high standard (which apparently makes me an anarchist libertarian?) but thats about as far as I go. I plan on voting for Obama because of many reasons I prefer not to go into on my blog, you can ask me if you really care that much!!

The rest of the afternoon, we shot email after email off to eachother, highlighting our presidential candidate's pluses and issues, pointing out negative facts about the others beliefs, and sending mean edited pictures to eachother.

Hers:


Mine:



Later on that evening I received a call from her. "Truce?" She offered. I begrudgingly accepted. Politics may be evil, but it cant ruin a 13 year relationship. However, bring up shoes, chocolate, men, dancing or alcohol...they've come much, much closer in the past ;)