I've been brainwashed by my own brain

So have you guys noticed that the Halloween stuff is already out at your local store? I first noticed this a few weeks ago, at Target (of course) and I was stunned. I know this topic has been beaten to death, but I SWEAR it just gets earlier and earlier every year. Its nice to plan ahead, but if I go out and buy my stuff now, I'll stick it in a closet, forget about it, and then re-buy all the stuff I already did 10 days before Halloween....

...And now I suddenly understand.

Anyway, since I was reminded that yes, Halloween will be here in about 90 days, I asked my daughter what she wanted to be this year. "Hmmm," she said thoughtfully, "I think I want to be....a duck!" I gave her an odd look, and said, "Honey, what if I cant find a duck costume?" "Maybe I want to be a dog, then!" She exclaimed. "What about a pirate?" I asked, hopefully. "I wanna be a PIG!" She screeched, completely ignoring my suggestion. To say my daughter isn't exactly a "girly" girl would be a bit of an extreme understatement.

And today's doodle theme is fire, and this is what I've been fantasizing about lately:


(click to enlarge...............that's what she said, hahahhahalst4dahdhadf)
(sorry, been watching too many Office re-runs)

The weather in Houston is miserable, sticky, rainy and HOT like the second circle of hell (that's where all the hot girls and guys go when they cant keep it in their pants, fyi) and winter will not bestow her cool hand upon our city probably until...mid January. And only for a few weeks, at that. But Autumn will roll through soon, probably at the end of October, and it's the perfect time to cozy up to your sweetie and enjoy life by the fire. Or in front of your space heater with a "special friend", whatever your situation may be.

1:29pm

Four years ago today, I gave birth to this little monster:


Happy Birthday, princess angel!

I probably knocked 5 years off my journey to Alzheimer's, too

Since I spent the majority of the day yesterday breathing in aluminum paint fumes, sitting in a house with the a/c turned off to combat the ventilation of said fumes, and then sleeping all night long without the cool caress of the air conditioner on my hot, sweaty skin, I am a little fucking cranky today.



Understandably.

I also think the paint fumes might have melted my brain a little bit...this morning, I'm in the kitchen, making cinnamon toast for my daughter. Toast, butter, cinnamon, sugar, check. I gave her the plate, and went back in the kitchen to start making coffee. Three seconds later, she comes running into the kitchen, with a look on her face like she just swallowed a fly. A fly covered in dog poop that just came out of a moldy, rotten apple.
"What? What is it?" I demanded, all freaked out, and she opened her mouth and a wad of half chewed bread tumbled out and plopped on the floor. Sick, I know. "What on earth is wrong?" I asked again, and she wailed, "It tastes NAAAAAAAAAASTY". Since cinnamon toast is usually only a weekend treat, I knew she wasn't being a freak about food like normal, and I took a closer look at the ingredients. Bread is fine, no mold. Butter, fine. Cumin, fine. OH. Oops.

I gave my daughter cumin sugar toast this morning. Awesome.

So I'm taking things a little easy today. No hard labor. No strenuous activity. Its obviously going to be "one of those days", and I don't need any more of this mental trickery after such a stressful day yesterday. A little deserved R&R, and I think a little pool side lounging and retail therapy with the kiddo should do the trick.

Its cold out there for a Mom

Guess where I've been all day? I'll give you three hints:

The ladies wear short skirts
There is lots of shouting of encouragement, cheers, general hoopla and such
Sharp blades are involved

No, not some sick fetish strip club, you dirty minded sickos, but ice skating. More importantly, ice skating with my three year old. I enrolled her in lessons a few weeks ago after she started gliding around in her socks on the laminate floor. I'm serious! By doing that, she could be acting out her natural ability and talent, right? The baby books told me so! Besides, I'm always looking for every available avenue for Calista to learn a talent so she can support me in my twilight years.

Unfortunately, I think she's inherited her fathers laziness. She isn't bad, she doesn't fall, but she wont move. Once she found out she couldn't get out there and just sail away, arms outstretched and one leg in the air, she didn't want anything to do with it. So every Saturday after class, I get out there with her and we go around the rink a few times. Or, I go around the rink a few times while she wedges herself between my legs, screaming, and I drag her around with me. Today I was pretty fed up with this and pried her vice like little hands off of my legs and skated a few feet in front of her. "See how easy this is?" I singsonged, skating backwards, trying to encourage her to come forward to me. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself, as she was moving forward and I was gliding along, backwards no less, entertaining ideas of becoming a (geriatric?) figure skater until all of a sudden - WHAM! I skated back right into the wall, feet flew out from under me (I seriously saw them in front of my face) and I landed straight on my ass. Dazed for a few seconds, I suddenly realized my own child was laughing at me! "You fell on your BUTT!" She cried gleefully. Then I looked over and noticed the little 8 year olds doing double axles in the center of the ice were pointing and laughing!!!! Bitches. Calista came over, and I let her clutch the insides of my thighs while I skated back to the exit. No one was hurt and fortunately the only thing I bruised was my ego. Bah dum bum!

Its a little crazy today

Ugh, last night I stayed up until 2am cleaning the house. Mopping the floors, scrubbing the sinks and counters, dusting the hell out of this place, and all while on the phone with TWO girlfriends with man trouble (please imagine me saying that in a southern georgia accent, cause I do). I'm exhausted today. Calista woke up at 7:30am, bright eyed and bushy tailed, begging for breakfast. I look in the pantry. I forgot to get more cereal yesterday. Look in the fridge. Forgot to get bread, too. However I did remember the Nestles Drumsticks - go mom! A much needed staple in any persons diet, wouldnt you agree? So this morning I fed my child peanut butter crackers and milk for breakfast.


The reason for the OCD cleaning is that we have family coming into town, today and tomorrow. My mom, who can spot a speck of dust and a dirty light switch plate from the airport, and JP's son, so I need this place to be spotless. Cause it aint gonna stay that way for long with a 10 year old boy and a 3 year old girl running around here. FOR A MONTH AND A HALF.