Lame-o

While recovering from the Epic Drinking Binge of 2k8, going to two fruitless job interviews, working, then coming home late at night so tired and so hungry, I have become totally boring this week. Total snooze fest. Sorry guys. I got nothin'.

So good thing Petra over at The Wise (*Young*) Mommy tagged me for this meme, right?!? You saved the day, girl!

1. Where were you 10 years ago?

I was a sophomore in high school and starting drivers ed. I had a totally obsessive and unrequited crush on this guy Greg (names have been changed to protected the innocent and mortified) and by some stroke of luck we were paired together in our driving class. With all the swooning in the back seat and furtive glances in the rear view mirror back at him, its amazing I even learned to drive in the first place.

2. What's on Today's To-Do List?

I have already completed everything on my to-do list because I am a badass. Or because there were only 2 things on it. I prefer the first explanation.

3. Name Five Places You Have Lived

Houston, Tx
Katy, TX
Prosser, WA

4. Name Three of Your Bad Habits

I have a really hard time remembering to close the cabinet doors, and it usually results in the taller people in my home (JP) smacking their heads on them. I also leave my car doors unlocked constantly (but I drive a crap car so it would really be better for me if it got stolen, anyway) and I chew my cuticles when I am stressed out. Gross, huh?

5. What Are Your Favorite Snacks?

I am a trail mix addict, y'all. Once when I was pregnant I ate an entire bag in one sitting! I also like tapioca pudding cups, pickles...actually I think I'd consider anything not an entire meal a snack, so bring it on.

6. Who Will You Tag for This Meme?

Serena, over at Zip 'n' Tizzy! Go for it mama!

1:29pm

Four years ago today, I gave birth to this little monster:


Happy Birthday, princess angel!

I probably knocked 5 years off my journey to Alzheimer's, too

Since I spent the majority of the day yesterday breathing in aluminum paint fumes, sitting in a house with the a/c turned off to combat the ventilation of said fumes, and then sleeping all night long without the cool caress of the air conditioner on my hot, sweaty skin, I am a little fucking cranky today.



Understandably.

I also think the paint fumes might have melted my brain a little bit...this morning, I'm in the kitchen, making cinnamon toast for my daughter. Toast, butter, cinnamon, sugar, check. I gave her the plate, and went back in the kitchen to start making coffee. Three seconds later, she comes running into the kitchen, with a look on her face like she just swallowed a fly. A fly covered in dog poop that just came out of a moldy, rotten apple.
"What? What is it?" I demanded, all freaked out, and she opened her mouth and a wad of half chewed bread tumbled out and plopped on the floor. Sick, I know. "What on earth is wrong?" I asked again, and she wailed, "It tastes NAAAAAAAAAASTY". Since cinnamon toast is usually only a weekend treat, I knew she wasn't being a freak about food like normal, and I took a closer look at the ingredients. Bread is fine, no mold. Butter, fine. Cumin, fine. OH. Oops.

I gave my daughter cumin sugar toast this morning. Awesome.

So I'm taking things a little easy today. No hard labor. No strenuous activity. Its obviously going to be "one of those days", and I don't need any more of this mental trickery after such a stressful day yesterday. A little deserved R&R, and I think a little pool side lounging and retail therapy with the kiddo should do the trick.

Front, back and side to side

This weekend, the kiddo went to grandma's house, the fourth member of the family went back home, and things hit the "standstill" we'd been talking about all month. We were all alone for the first time in 30 days, and damnit, we weren't going to waste the opportunity, if you know what I'm talking about.

NO, not that. Jeeze, you think I could go 30 days? I can barely go three days, but we'll save that story for another time.

No, folks, we had ourselves a little partay. A 2 person partay, but a partay none the less.

(And yes, there is a difference between a party and a par-tay (#1, section 2).

Here are my three must-haves for a successful party:

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Thats right. Cheap wine, nerdy board games and hardcore gangster rap. If you substitute the red wine with OE and the scrabble for dominoes, you'll experience my life from 19-21, but I'm a GROWN UP now, and I needed an upgrade (In my 30's, I'm looking forward to Alize and Yahtzee).

Today I'm nursing my hangover and preparing for the first week where I'll have nothing to do.
Besides entertain and keep up with a three year old, of course.

FYI

Just to let everyone know, I'll be on vacation this week! Hopefully I'll still be able to drop and read, but posting will be pretty light.

Have a great weekend and week, guys!!

Confessions of a Life Slut

Have you ever played the drinking game, "I Never", or "Never Have I Ever"? Basically you start with 10 fingers up, and you state something you have never done, like bungee jumping or anal sex. The people who have done this, have to do a shot and subtract a finger. The game ends when someone ends up with all ten fingers down. Or pukes from taking 10 shots of Cuervo, whichever comes first.


I dont play drinking games anymore, but when I did, I ALWAYS lost I Never. Without fail. Because my motto in life is, "I'll try anything once". I have no qualms about eating blowfish. Dancing on a bar. Diving headfirst into a vat full of jello - which I seriously want to do once before I die, maybe upon death cause I might die by suffocating in raspberry jello. The two things I wont do are skydive and bungee jump because I jumped off a 30 foot high dive once (see what I mean?) and that was enough free falling for one life time, thanks.

And sometimes it makes me feel like a Life Slut. I've experienced so many different things at a relatively young age, I feel kind of guilty. While other people were in college, I was out collecting experiences like they were the box tops of life. Some of them are good (Good Citizen awards, rescuing a man who fell off a bridge, saving someone's life) and some are cringe inducing (held up at gunpoint, sneaking into the mall to do it on the ice skating rink (lol), getting caught shoplifting) but they are MINE and they've made me who I am today, and even though I was caught by the police having sex in a car, I embrace the naughty, the debauch and shine a positive light on it: I HAD FUN, bitches.

Doodle Week x2

Today's doodle theme is Pet.

Mine is a liiiitle NSFW. And while most of us don't work on a Saturday, some of us have kids who like to stand over our shoulder shouting MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY when all we're trying to do is take 10 SECONDS OUT OF OUR LIVES TO CHECK OUR EMAIL, DAMNIT!!!!!!11!1

And we don't want to permanently scar our children, now do we?

Of course not.

Intrigued? Scared? Bored? Clickity click to see my doodle of a "pet". ;)

Doodle Week

Heard of Doodle Week? I'm jumping on the bandwagon a little late, but its hard for me to pass up a good doodle. This weeks theme is Evil, and you'll see my representation of said theme below. Click for bigger image!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

I'm hungry.

Recently, AOL Food asked its readers to nominate their least favorite foods. The top nominations were voted on in a poll and the results are in!

America's Most Hated Foods. (My opinions)

20. Blueberries (I agree. Hate them raw, but artificial blueberry is okay - blueberry muffins, uhh...blueberry popsicles? Hmm.)
19. Maple Syrup (What the hell is everyone putting on their pancakes?)
18. Cilantro (Yum! No one likes salsa?)
17. Onions (EWWWWWWWWW however I do like onion rings.)
16. Cooked Carrots (Normally I dont like mushy vegetables, but slap some butter and brown sugar on these babies and they're delish.)
15. Raisins (Yummy, also the perfect toddler snack.)
14. Peas (I like them frozen, I cant seem to find them at my grocery store's produce section, and snow peas are delicious in chinese food.)
13. Oysters (Tried them once, never again.)
12. Pea Soup (Never tried it!)
11. Sour Cream (SOUR CREAM?!! Who are these people???)
10. Gelatin (Is this like, jello? Who hates jello?)
9. Tuna Fish (The only kind of fish I'll eat.)
8. Brussels Sprouts (I've never tried, and they smell funny.)
7. Beets (Apparently I used to love them as a baby, then one day broke out in a full body rash one day after eating them. I guess I could be allergic to beets.)
6. Okra (WTF. Everyone who did this survey is from the north. Okra is the shit, people.)
5. Eggs (I'm surprised to see this one on the list. Usually I get weird looks when I tell people I dont like eggs. I'll eat them only if they're IN a dish. Or breakfast taco, whatever.)
4. Mushrooms (My favorite veggie)
3. Mayonnaise (Miracle whip is for pussies. Mayo FTW!)
2. Lima Beans (Not good on their own, but added to things I like them)
1. Liver (I like it but refuse to eat it, since its so bad for you)

Also, I'm convinced that these people just thought of food that sounds gross. Or I just like food that everyone else hates. More for me!!!

Makes showering all the more fun

If you're looking for a cheap thrill, you should definitely pick up Noah's Naturals - Its All Good Rosemary and Mint Body wash. This stuff sure is tingly. In all the right places if you get my gist.