Wednesday, July 16, 2008

At least I'm not addicted to CNN.

Confession: I am terribly addicted to celebrity gossip.

Look, I consider myself an intelligent person. Grounded, philosophical, secure in the knowledge that I am smarter than 95% of the people I know surrounded by intelligent, competent human beings. I don't use spell check, I've memorized the dictionary and thesaurus, and I speak 3 different languages.

...Okay, so my spell check feature is ALWAYS turned on, I'm the queen of run on sentences, and the three languages I speak are English, Spanglish and Toddler. No one is 100% perfect, right?

But knowing that Justin Long and Drew Barrymore just broke up, or that Dinah Lohan is a fame whoring attention hound isn't exactly going to win me the Pulitzer, if you get my drift. I mean, all this useless knowledge is probably taking up room in my head. If I didn't read about Pam Anderson at the Big Brother House last week, I might have done better on yesterday's Jeopardy! (I am a faithful Jeopardy watcher. See how smart I am!??!?) . Also, I really don't care about Brangelina (they had the chosen ones, by the way), Christian Bale (would totally do him, but only as Batman) or Lauren Conrad (seriously, I'm not that sure what she does. The Hills, right?) and while I envy their ability to purchase cute shoes without a financial doubt or worry, I dont aspire to be like any of them.

What it is, I think, is I use celebrity gossip like the rest of the world uses TV for escape. I watch 4 TV shows regularly, and only 3 of them are in season right now. That is the most TV I have ever watched, except for my brief addiction to MTV when I was 15.
But even if its the truth, I still get looked upon like an inane airhead when I confess to strangers or acquaintances my deep and ardent affection for the tabloids. Somehow, TV watching isnt that bad in comparison and I don't know why. It seems just as dumb and indulgent as reading gossip columns, right?

One good thing, though, about knowing a lot of useless celebrity information is kicking ass in Trivia. Do you know who Phoebe Price is? Bai Ling? Shauna Sand? Have you heard about Lindsay Lohan's legging line? And join me up with one of those TV watchers, and we will take your ass down in the Pop Culture category, faster than you can say Jamie Lynn's backwoods baby.

6 comments:

EGE said...

Hey! I just found you through Entrecard, and you know what? You're funny!

Athena said...

Why thank you! You're pretty funny yourself, love the masthead on your blog, too!

geekyhabitat said...

Haha, I feel your pain, sometimes I get addicted to something (for example the first couple of seasons of big brother) that I look back on now and hang my head in shame *blushes*.

At least you do have a benefit as you mentioned kicking ass at trivia hahaha.

And as ege said, you have an awesome blog and are a funny one. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Stuart

Original GRITS said...

I am feelin' ya on this one. I just like to keep my celebrity gossip addiction under wraps so it doesn't take away from my persona as the intellectual. LMAO

"...while I envy their ability to purchase cute shoes without a financial doubt or worry, I dont aspire to be like any of them." OMG, how true is that!?!?! Love it!

Descartes said...

I spend a lot of time reading all kinds of useless stuff, I have been know to be a bit obsessive about celebrities as well, particularly the ones that never seem to wear underwear.

Athena said...

Stuart - Thanks you, now I'm blushing :)

OG - Wouldn't it just be great to go out and buy all the loveliest shoes you could find without a worry in the world? Its a reoccurring fantasy of mine ;)

Descartes - Agreed. Celebrities without panties are definitely of great interest.