Monday, July 14, 2008

Not so happy camper

Oh my god, do I have a camping hangover.



Okay, that picture is a little disgusting and does not accurately reflect the kind of hangover I have, but I feel like shit and its the best I could do, okay?! Damn.

Like I was saying, I feel like shit. Why we thought it would be such a great idea to drive 5 hours away to camp at a lake with 2 kids under the age of 10 is beyond me. Building character, teaching responsibility and prying their grubby little asses away from the TV and ipods to get some fresh air aside, it was not worth the effort for only 2 days. One kid is old enough to complain the whole way there and back about being bored (the rule about no DVD players in the car might be eradicated soon) and the other is young enough to wait to tell you at the last minute that she has to go potty RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW.

The actual camping was much worse, however. Complaints about it being too hot, too windy, too noisy, too "chirpy" (the crickets) and too many shadows went on until midnight. The marshmallows were too burnt. There were tons of bees. A roving armadillo close to our tent provided some much needed entertainment for the kids, though, until it charged toward Calista's toes thinking they were grubs, or whatever the hell armadillos eat. The lake had too many "squooshy" rocks, and every time Calista brushed up against one she let out a shriek that made you think she'd just been eaten by Nessy. That happened fairly often since we were in a LAKE filled with ROCKS.

Even though I'm afraid of bugs and I wouldn't necessarily call myself "outdoorsy", I like camping. I really do. The trick is to make it as comfortable and pain-free as possible, and I always over pack so we have everything we need. I make a DO NOT FORGET list a week before we leave, and constantly add stuff to it so by the time we're ready to go, I've thought of everything. Here are a few things I'm adding to the DO NOT FORGET list the next time we go camping:
Xanax
Red Wine
Those Bose noise reducing headphones
That geeky personal cooling system
Valium
Map to the closest hotel with 5 star accommodations.

4 comments:

Dirty Laundry Diva said...

I LOVE that photo and have had trips exactly like that... It is something about the camp fire and the lack of civilization around that just make you want to cut loose and do dumb things!

Original GRITS said...

I've come to the point in my life where camping consists of staying at hotels that DON'T have room service...I'm too damn old to sleep all hot and sticky in a tent on the hard ground. LOL

Oh, but if I did..your list of do not forgets would be necessities for me, too.

Athena said...

Diva - in the wild, acting wild! ;) I completely agree.

OG _ [You dont mind if I call you OG, do you? ;)] LOL, no kidding about the room service. I have to bring this up to the SO next time we go camping! ;)

kpasa said...

Your pic portrays MY feelings about camping. Went camping in Girl Scouts as a kid. Hated it. I do like the outdoors, just not sleeping in it at night. I like sleeping in a bed, having a toilet that flushes, and a non-community shower with hot water. I would move the valium up in the list, right under xanax and above the red wine. Of course, you may not remember the camping trip, or live through it by doing that, but that's my feeling on camping.