Monday, July 21, 2008

Confessions of a Life Slut

Have you ever played the drinking game, "I Never", or "Never Have I Ever"? Basically you start with 10 fingers up, and you state something you have never done, like bungee jumping or anal sex. The people who have done this, have to do a shot and subtract a finger. The game ends when someone ends up with all ten fingers down. Or pukes from taking 10 shots of Cuervo, whichever comes first.


I dont play drinking games anymore, but when I did, I ALWAYS lost I Never. Without fail. Because my motto in life is, "I'll try anything once". I have no qualms about eating blowfish. Dancing on a bar. Diving headfirst into a vat full of jello - which I seriously want to do once before I die, maybe upon death cause I might die by suffocating in raspberry jello. The two things I wont do are skydive and bungee jump because I jumped off a 30 foot high dive once (see what I mean?) and that was enough free falling for one life time, thanks.

And sometimes it makes me feel like a Life Slut. I've experienced so many different things at a relatively young age, I feel kind of guilty. While other people were in college, I was out collecting experiences like they were the box tops of life. Some of them are good (Good Citizen awards, rescuing a man who fell off a bridge, saving someone's life) and some are cringe inducing (held up at gunpoint, sneaking into the mall to do it on the ice skating rink (lol), getting caught shoplifting) but they are MINE and they've made me who I am today, and even though I was caught by the police having sex in a car, I embrace the naughty, the debauch and shine a positive light on it: I HAD FUN, bitches.

13 comments:

EGE said...

Yeah! Me too! I bet you never peed on the Tobin Bridge in rush hour traffic!

Original GRITS said...

The more I read your blog, the more I adore you! I am all about being a life slut, right there with you!!! Can we form a club?

How about doing it IN a cop car...with the cop...only the mike gets keyed and all the other cops on duty hear the festivities? LOL Yea, that ones MINE. *smile*

Nessa said...

oh wow, i thought i'd done alot but i see I have some more catching up to do. I'm a life slut too!!!

Bubbles said...

Oh Boy, I've lived such a boring life compared to all you gals. I really need to catch up (But old habits die hard- brought up in a conservative family:) I don't think I can suddenly become adventurous or daring.
Good Luck to you gals - even if I can't experience it maybe I can read about it (HEHE)

Rachel S said...

See? We're all on your side here. I love bringing up little tidbits of my past adventures just to see the looks on faces around me sometimes, because I'm always thought to be so straitlaced and proper. I do put forth a prudish and conservative sort of face in public a lot of the time, but that's just so no one suspects me..... :)

Monique said...

LOL. Life slut. I really love that. Before I got married I did all of my risk taking, and I am glad I did. I am actually enjoying my boring life now.

Athena said...

Ege - Haha! No, I havent. In fact I've never peed on any bridge in rush hour traffic! Must add this to the list.

OG - Awwww, thankyou!! And you TOTALLY topped my cop story - damn woman, I'm impressed! Must've been hard to live that one down ;) Life Slut club members unite!!!

Nessa - Theres always time! Start today! :)

Bubbles - Living vicariously is one of the great pleasures in life!

Rachel - Thanks! I'm glad I have some other Life Sluts to compare stories with :)

Monique - Ditto, girl. I feel far to old now for some of the shenanigans I got myself into back then.

Laura-Junkfoodaholic said...

Hahahaha! You crack me up! Very funny. I've played the drinking game 'Quarters' but not 'I Never'. I'm pretty boring now but I was a Life Slut in my former life. AND I HAD FUN, bitches. :) Great post.

Kate Savage said...

Effing right! I never remember the end of that game, so I'm here to ask if I can borrow your term "life slut"?

Perhaps we'll create a movement, and we can make lame t-shirts we'll never wear that bear our group motto, "You'd be jealous, if you knew."

kpasa said...

Thank you for the belly gut laugh I got from reading this post!

Athena said...

Laura - Thanks! Quarters is just as lethal. And once a member of the Life Slut club, always a member.

Kate - Of course, anyone who is or has been a Life Slut can use the term freely. And I, for one, love the teeshirt idea and would wear with pride.

Kpasa - lol, anytime ;)

Grumpus said...

I am not even a regular slut, and I have no life. Fuck! Batting 0 for 2.

CeeCee said...

I, too, am a former life slut. I learned through the experiences. A scarce amount of regrets are worth a lifetime of "what would have beens?"