Monday, August 4, 2008

Athena vs. Edouard

Oh, damn it.

You do not want to see any type of storm thingy when you are a stay at home mom. Cause rain = child gets bored, cranky, doesn't want to play with anything besides things they can not play with, throws fits, accidentally breaks the dishwasher, and mom starts drinking as soon as other responsible parent gets home, and ends up drunk in bed at 6pm.

Just generally not good for the family morale.

To combat Ornery Child Syndrome you have to have a rigid POA (Plan Of Attack - learned this from Design Star), with activities planned for every minute. Snack time, nap time, TV time (so Mommy can have 30 minutes of peace with her In Style Magazine, damnit) and have supplies at the ready: glue, glitter, popsicle sticks, googly eyes, cardboard, child safety scissors, paint, brushes, paper, paper sacks, old socks, those garbage bag twisty ties, anything at all, really, that can be molded, painted, cut, glued or shellacked. Apparently to my daughter this includes house hold appliances and clothing. Her artistic vision is something else.

You may argue that you can take the child out of the house during a storm. This might be true, however, I have been scared senseless with even the lightest smattering of rain by local weather forecasters who have warned of imminent death approaching, even if I so much as open my front door. After Hurricane Katrina, all the weather forecasters went into a frothy mouthed downward spiral, using fear tactics, threats, and physical bodily harm to keep viewers at home on their couches, frozen in terror, tuned in to their weather report to find out if the Armageddon was coming their way.

Most of the forecasters from back in the "day" have retired and been replaced with sensible, vanilla weatherpeeps, but they still warn of combating destruction with preparedness. So I've equipped myself with the essentials: Flashlight, batteries, small flotation devices (floaties, noodles, boogie board), arts and crafts box, and copious amounts of red wine. So BRING IT, tropical storm Edouard. We'll see who the true fighter is.


Condo Blues said...

Our weatherpeeps get all Chicken Little at every pressure change too and I live in the midwest. Every thunder, high wind, or hail storm is a cause for tornado armageddon. So guess what? When a tornado is a real possiblity people get passive about taking precautions because the last 5 times that month the warnings turned out to be nothing. That's not a good thing. Wouldn't you think forcasters would have learned their lesson by now?

Patricia Rockwell said...

Oh, my, I left Louisiana to avoid the hurricanes and am now in the midwest amidst all the tornadoes. There's just no getting away from weather or weathermen!

Deb said...

Weather guys are such attention whores. But you sound ready. Just double up on the wine--you always need more than you think.

feefifoto said...

On a completely (well, almost completely) unrelated note, I read once that when a big storm is coming, grocery stores and Walmarts in the southeast stock up on strawberry pop tarts, which seem to be in great demand during hurricanes.

AmyOops said...

Hey Left a little something for you at my site.. Come by and grab it

Sassy Mama Bear said...

Good luck. We stocked in extra snacks and books when storms came this way in WI, but we have nothing like tropical storms or hurricanes up here.

book_it said...

This post is another reason why I'm glad my kids are now adults. ;)

Zip n Tizzy said...

Wish we could trade weather points. While I don't want a hurricane, we're in a bad drought out here in CA. I'd happily take some of your rain and send a few dry days your way.
Good luck with the rainy day blues... and weathering the storm.

Athena said...

Condo blues - Isnt it sad that ratings outweigh the general safety of the public?

Patricia - Out of frying pan into the fire? Is that how that saying goes? Hopefully you and yours weren't affected by Katrina, and if you were, I hope things are getting better for you guys!

Deb - advice taken!

Feefifoto- lol, I'll have to check that next time. All I know is that you cant find bread, water or a pack of cigarettes within 50 miles!!

Sassy - Thank you! And I've never been in a snowstorm - the idea of being stuck inside for days is terrifying!

Zip - No kidding, those fires are scary! Lets trade!