Monday, August 4, 2008
Athena vs. Edouard
Oh, damn it.
You do not want to see any type of storm thingy when you are a stay at home mom. Cause rain = child gets bored, cranky, doesn't want to play with anything besides things they can not play with, throws fits, accidentally breaks the dishwasher, and mom starts drinking as soon as other responsible parent gets home, and ends up drunk in bed at 6pm.
Just generally not good for the family morale.
To combat Ornery Child Syndrome you have to have a rigid POA (Plan Of Attack - learned this from Design Star), with activities planned for every minute. Snack time, nap time, TV time (so Mommy can have 30 minutes of peace with her In Style Magazine, damnit) and have supplies at the ready: glue, glitter, popsicle sticks, googly eyes, cardboard, child safety scissors, paint, brushes, paper, paper sacks, old socks, those garbage bag twisty ties, anything at all, really, that can be molded, painted, cut, glued or shellacked. Apparently to my daughter this includes house hold appliances and clothing. Her artistic vision is something else.
You may argue that you can take the child out of the house during a storm. This might be true, however, I have been scared senseless with even the lightest smattering of rain by local weather forecasters who have warned of imminent death approaching, even if I so much as open my front door. After Hurricane Katrina, all the weather forecasters went into a frothy mouthed downward spiral, using fear tactics, threats, and physical bodily harm to keep viewers at home on their couches, frozen in terror, tuned in to their weather report to find out if the Armageddon was coming their way.
Most of the forecasters from back in the "day" have retired and been replaced with sensible, vanilla weatherpeeps, but they still warn of combating destruction with preparedness. So I've equipped myself with the essentials: Flashlight, batteries, small flotation devices (floaties, noodles, boogie board), arts and crafts box, and copious amounts of red wine. So BRING IT, tropical storm Edouard. We'll see who the true fighter is.