Monday, October 6, 2008

Snip snip!

You know how there are just some words that you really don't like to use? They just make you uncomfortable and squirmy, and your brain recoils in shock and disgust at the thought of them? Two common offenders seem to be "panties" and "moist", but those dont bug me, personally (hey, a girl's gotta have her dirty talk!).

Sometimes, though, the word you hate the most is the most adequate way to describe something, and this weekend there was no getting around the word that makes me squirm: douchebag.

I hate that word. Somehow over the past few years it's come back into common conversation to usually describe a dude who looks and acts like this:

or this:

and the reason I hate the word, other than it's just gross to say, is that it somehow became appropriate to make fun of someone by calling them a feminine hygiene product. Which is kind of weird, right? I know that there are other insults pertaining to the genitalia of both sexes, but douchebag (ugh) is just a special kind of wrongness. I think we all know what it means, but if you dont, go here and educate yourselves (actually, you probably just need to click here instead, you're way too young to be reading this fuckery). Personally, I think we need to find out what the left over snippings from a vasectomy procedure are, and start using that as an insult, too. Just to even things up a bit. Gender equality, people! Its the new millennium!


Petra said...

HAHAHA, I love the photos of the Gotti boys and Chris Angel. I used to like Chris Angel and then he went and got all douche-baggy and seemed to be trying too hard, so now I am SO over him.

I agree, let's come up with some new insults. How about taint? That's a terrible, terrible word, so you have to use it on only the worst people, like Paris Hilton maybe.

Just a thought...

chris said...

instead of figuring out what the clippings are called, it may be easier to get all the douchebags vasectomies. that would effectively solve the problem in a generation or two wouldn't it?

JD at I Do Things said...

"Douchebag" doesn't bother me, but "moist" -- arrrggghh! I hate it! I hate "panties" in certain contexts. I also hate "tasty" and "veggies." And when grown-ups say "potty."

JD at I Do Things

Deb on the Rocks said...

How about "Vazz." Vasectomy + spazz = Vazz.

I'm going to try it out and see if it catches on. Though this month I'm calling idiots "Mavericks."

Athena said...

Petra - PETRA I CANT BELIEVE YOU USED TAINT!! Girl you're worse than I am ;) and Paris Hilton is a good example of both the word "taint" and "douchebag". Well done.

Chris - That, my friend, is a GREAT idea. Unless it's just natural selection and then we're just screwed.

JD - Hahaha! Veggies is something I say a lot. I also think it's really gross when adults use potty - since I have a 4 year old I slip up occasionally when I'm talking about myself and cringe inside. Ick.

Deb - Vazz is a good one. Or gross + vasectomy = vasectoss, except that one might be a little tricky when inebriated.

Vodka Mom said...

i agree. I'm distracted by the pics. I can't think.

Condo Blues said...

I think I'm in trouble because I taught my dog to recognize the word "potty" when it's time to do his buisness. It seemed like a nicer word to use in public (we have a lot of little kids in our neighborhood) than" Hey dog, hurry up and take a shit it's raining outside!"

ettarose said...

I had one word that I used to hate and would really get upset when anyone used it. It is four letters and starts with C an ends with T. At least I hated it until I watched the Vagina Monolgues. Ho ho ho how frickin funny!

Carol said...

The crazy thing is, if we called them "jockstraps" they'd take it as a compliment.

Joshua said...

Personally I've been trying to bring back the term "pencildick." It's not very common these days, which makes it perfect. It insults whoever you are talking to/about, and it is sure to catch people's attention. Either that or "nut sack."

-Hey there, PencilDick, I was in line first.
-Whatever you say, Nut Sack.

Either one is a slap to the face, and both involve the male anatomy...see any correlation?

Real Live Lesbian said...

Hahahaha! You picked the PERFECT pictures!

The Hawg said...

I'll tell you what. You abandon your pursuit of finding what the remains of a vasectomy snipping (blech!) are so you can craft a new, dandy insult and I will never, never, never use the term "douchebag" again.

Fair enough?

Kirsten said...

LOL! I don't mind the word, douchebag, but if the word, "nipple" becomes popular, I'm gonna have to move out of the country.

Chat Blanc said...

Those guys make my skin crawl! I'm with ya on the gender equality in insulting terminology. I think that's why I like the term fuckballs. :)

Melinda Zook said...

LOL. Those guys are slick, definitely.

I am not a fan of the douch...word either. That and the "C U next Tuesday"

BTW, I have a little something for you over at my blog, come on by when you have a chance.

Athena said...

Deb - I know, its pretty hard to be serious with those skeevy dudes looking at you.

Condo blues - I think its totally acceptable to use that word around children and dogs! And it does sound a lot better, lol.

Ettarose - I need to see that! I dont hate the C word as much as d-bag but it still gives me the shakes a bit.

Carol - LOL seriously!

Josh - I like your line of thinking! However 'nutsack'? I dont even like saying that to my boyfriend!!!!

RLL - right?!?!

Hawg - DEAL!

Kirsten - Nipple? What do you call them then? Nipple...the more I say it, the weirder it sounds, haha.

chat blanc- fuck balls is pretty good! I like that one!

Melinda - Yeah, the C word is another one I do not include in my vocabulary.

quarter-life lady. said...

I hate that word. Douche. It's so harsh and gross.

Were those guys dressed up like black men? Or were they just unnaturally tan?

Monique said...

Ewww Chris Asshole. He irks me so bad!

And I agree about "the word". I have never ever understood what it was supposed to mean. It is like an empty bag? A full one with the product? A used one? What!?!?!

Sadly though, when I saw your choice of pictures I realized that it in some odd way perfectly described how I feel about Chris Idiot.

Matt said...

I admit that I use the word douche far too much. It just rolls off the's a pleasing word to say. Kind of like Lollipop.

Farmhouse Kitchen Sinks said...

i love the pics

Athena said...

quarter-life lady - seriously. They were TAN. There is just no excuse.

Monique - I know! I dont get it, either. Its just kind of weird and gross.

Matt - lollipop is so much better. Lets just start using lollipop instead, okay?

FKS - I know! Perfect representation.