Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Slingin' sandwiches

So in our (seemingly) never ending quest to move to la suburbia (what I'm calling it in an obviously desperate attempt to make it seem more hip), it has been decided that I should get a job. A job outside of the home, that pays in actual cash money not just life experiences and colored pictures of Wall*E.

I've been searching for a job for a while now, without much luck. Because I'm picky and I don't want to spend 3 hours of my day commuting back and forth like the rest of this god forsaken city. My background is something along the lines of administrative work, so you may ask yourself how I ended up getting a job waiting tables.

Sigh. Desperate times call for desperate measures, no? I waited tables for years and years before my little kidlet came along, and once she did I decided that I needed a grown up job with better hours. Nearly 5 years have gone by since I laid my delicate hands on a server tray, and I basically got so frustrated that no one wanted to hire me that I went somewhere where I was assured to get hired - a restaurant.

Pros about waiting tables
Quick, easy money
Flexible hours
Tasty food within reach
Will definitely provide me with bizarre and probably gross stuff to tell you guys about

Cons about waiting tables
Waitstaff drama
I am a huge klutz and I break stuff a lot
Tasty food within reach
Sidework and tipouts
Bitchy customers
Cheap customers
Grueling work with no hope for positive reinforcement since everyone knows waitstaff are slaves to the community
Totally demoralizing

I am SO above this, people. The only reason I decided to even entertain the thought of waitressing is because we need to speed up the process of moving out of the city. I'm doing it for my family to better our situation. So really, I'm like a hero. AND NOT LIKE THE SANDWICH.


Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Plus it's very hard work too. I did it for years. Then I became a waitress in a bar and then a bartender. Then I got a nice job and got the heck out of waitress work. Tough work. Big hug. :)

Chat Blanc said...

you ARE a hero. and I feel your pain job-wise. you'll rock it! :)

Mojo said...

You've seen the movie Waiting, right? Right? Most people think that's a comedy 'cause it's got Dane Cook and that guy that looks like Dane Cook that was in Van Wilder in it. But that's actually a training video.


for reals.

Petra said...

Wow, I give you major kudos honey, cuz you could not pay me ENOUGH to wait on people. I don't even like waiting on my own family, nevermind a bunch of unappreciative strangers!

But seriously, show a little cleavage and I bet the tips will come rollin' in and you guys will be out of the city in no time!! (and make sure you tell me where you work so I can come ogle you and put dollar bills in your bra strap)

JD at I Do Things said...

You are a hero! Don't feel demoralized. It's good, honest work, and yes: great blog fodder. I waitressed for many years, and if I had to, I know I could fall back on it and make some good dough.

Here's to tasty food within reach!

JD at I Do Things said...

First, kudos to you! Second, "I am a huge klutz and I break stuff a lot" THAT WOULD SO BE ME! LOL

Good luck!

Athena said...

Sandee - I think being a waitress in a bar would be even tougher (and grosser!) Props to you, girl.

Chat blanc - Thank you! I'll try my best :) And good luck with your job hunt, too!

Mojo - I did see that movie and was totally grossed out to death. SICK NASTY.

Petra - HAHA! Thanks, girl. The moment you decide to take a trip to Houston you'd better come visit me!!!

JD - awwww, thanks! Totally cheered me up :)

Zyriana - Thank you! Klutz's unite!

Vodka Mom said...

yeah, that's a tough gig. But anyone in their right mind KNOWS that a waiter/waitress is working hard, and should be respected. We've ALL done it. Don't you think?

I love that fact that you are doing whatever you need to do for your family. you are damn cool.

Zip n Tizzy said...

Tips to you!
We do what we have to do, especially in hard times.
Keep your humor about you!

Monique said...

I applaud you for being a waitress. Girrrrrlll, that is something I could not do at all. Ever. My attitude is way too bad, and I can see myself "losing" someones order if they were to piss me off. That would cause me to make NO money, and probably lose my job.


ettarose said...

Well, damn girl. I hate my job of glorified babysitter, cleaning all the drool off the mouths of my "adult" workers. He touched me, why do I have to do this job, whine whine whine. I thought maybe you had to resort to streetwalking. Now THAT would suck.(no pun intended)

Heinous said...

Just don't tell us where you waitress. This seems like an unruly bunch.