Thursday, August 21, 2008

I need help. Maybe mentally.

So is it just me, or is grocery shopping with your significant other an HUGE pain in the ass?

Remember the first time you two stepped foot into a Kroger's together? How it was sooooo romantic picking out the food ya'll were going to cook at one of your respective houses, like you were a regular married couple? Wasn't that sweet? Too bad it only lasts until you get into a fight about the price per ounce on a pound of ground sirloin. Then you wake up. Then you realize, "Huh. If Cheap Ass McGee wasn't here, I could get the organic ground beef like any other sane person, instead of being guilted into the funky tube o' meat."

But thats not all. There are different types of shoppers. Some are the blow and go type, where every trip is like supermarket sweep, and they just want to get the hell out of there. Others, like me, are the languid kind of shoppers. Comparing nutritional content, apples vs. oranges - literally - and taking a trip down every aisle, just to see whats out there. And when you're a leisurely shopper who falls in love with the blow and go kind, well...there are bound to be a few differences.

My best friend and I were discussing this last night, and she confessed that her and her high school sweetheart still love to grocery shop together and I was truly impressed. And they've been together for like, 10 years or something crazy like that. Screw flowers, that's some romantic shit right there. I mean, seriously, am I the only one who wants to have a throw down in the produce section? Is there some sort of therapy group for this? Have I finally gone off the deep end? Is there no end to the amount of questions I could ask before driving you insane? Probably not. So tell me, are you having problems like me? If so, how do you cope? Is there some sort of secret?
I NEED TO KNOW, PEOPLE. And don't say valium and a stiff drink beforehand, cause last time I tried that I just let him do the shopping while I rode that little carousel in front for 30 minutes, and I don't think my self esteem can handle getting banned from yet another grocery store.


Elizabeth said...

haha your blog makes me laugh!!!!

Nessa said...

LMAOOOOOOOOO, when I was married I refused to shop with him. I always spent too much then had to listen to him bitch because "WE" spent too much. I told him one of the last times, " no "WE" didn't bitch, YOU did. Jerkoff!

Leigh Anne said...

But riding the carousel saying 'wheeee' is the highlight of my week! Is that wrong?

DeadRooster said...

See, when I was married, I was just the opposite of your husband. I always suggested the more high-quality item regardless of cost. I am so not a penny-pincher.

There are three things to note:

1. I am no longer married.

2. I am now free to spend my money on any frivolous crap I want.

3. I am broke.

Chris Wood said...

Being on the same food wavelength is very difficult. Are you on the same drink wavelength? I reckon that's more important.

Cheap beef? Just add hot sauce, piece of cake.

Vodka Mom said...

I HATE to shop with my hubby. We've been together 20 some years, and yeah I probably still love him and shit, but to go shopping together? We're at eat other's throats.


mommyto2 said...

I can not stand shopping with hubby. I have a list, at least in my head, and still go isle to isle, and pick up other stuff, but he is slow, picks out CRAP, and generally annoys the S%&T out of me. I'll take the 2 & 5 year olds, just not the 40 year old!

Petra said...

HAHAHAHA. My husband and I don't shop together anymore...we barely find ourselves in the same room anymore...I forget what kind of shopper he is--is that bad or what?

Chat Blanc said...

I feel your pain! when I was married I couldn't stand to grocery shop with the hubs. He was the tightest, tight-ass around. I'd never before seen so much generic cheap crap. *ugh* avoid it at all costs.

PurrPrints said...

so true...thank god i didn't marry the boyfriend i had who i just couldn't shop with and instead the whatever you want guy :)

ettarose said...

My problem is my hubby is very particular about what goes in the grocery cart. He drives me nuts. I can shop in a third of the time it takes him. I want to get in and get out. I am usually whining by the third aisle.

Monique said...


You are not the only one who goes through this. I am fortunate though that after all these years my husband has kind of returned to his senses and realized that no matter how much he bitches, I won't buy his version of goodness. He now just nods and agrees to whatever groceries I want.

And it is pretty romantic, lol.

sabriena said...

My husband and I go shopping together all the time. We're more the same ;P So it goes along well.

And wow I can't stop laughing at the lego picture on the top of your post!

Athena said...

Elizabeth - thank you!

Nessa - Oh dear, blame shifters are the worst!

Leigh anne - No way, girl! Do what you long as its legal of course. Or just don't get caught?

Deadrooster - LMAO, the domino effect I see.

Chris wood - we are definitely on the same drink wavelength which, come to think of it, is more important.

Vodka mom - lol, "yeah I probably still love him and shit" I hope one day I can also express this same, heartfelt sentiment :D

Mommyto2 - Isn't it crazy how much easier it is to take the kids than your SO?!!

Petra - better to remain blissfully ignorant, in my opinion!!!!

Chat blanc - Arent cheap-o's the worst?!

Purprints - the "whatever you want guy" was definitely a good choice!!! The possibilities are endless!

Ettarose - My SO and I have tried to combat that problem with splitting up in the store. The lazy one stays with the cart and the one in a hurry goes and gets stuff on the next aisle over!

Monique - awww, I like a man who knows how to fight his battles :)

Sabriena - Good for you guys! And thanks, a little fun with MS Paint can go a long way, lol.

h31n0us said...

I just go to the market myself. The Wife makes the list (I can't be trusted on my own) and then she gets to do whatever while I'm gone. Sometimes she goes when she feels like it. We share. If we ever get there together I just grab stuff from down an aisle and bring it back to the cart so it all gets over quicker. No friction here ;)

Venus Angell said...

I love going grocery shopping alone. Since Murphy's Law is always in effect when it comes to me, the stupid husband insists on going for a stroll when we need to hurry and to whine that we should hurry when we need to stroll.

Zip n Tizzy said...

Leave EVERYBODY home! The hub, the kids, the dog... they will all make different demands and you will forget half of what you came for. Make shopping a solitary sport whenever possible, and do it late at night when your likely to get hit on by young guys scoping out MILF's. It's very affirming.